*headdesk*

[simplysly]

I'm writing porn.  And misusing foodstuffs.

Note to self: a rutabag should not be used as a dildo.

Note to brain: stop it.  Just stop.

Comments

[simplysly.livejournal.com]

more the later than the former.

[briyamineko84.livejournal.com]

Yeees, but then you get all addicted and people cheer you on and you're like...wheee?

[simplysly.livejournal.com]

cheering and comments are good.

the porn itself is bad.

[briyamineko84.livejournal.com]

It is nooot. I read yours, it's fiiine. Not my 'ship, but still good. My stuff? Awful. The only thing that saves me is that I'm writing it with someone else.

[simplysly.livejournal.com]

the only reason it's partly decent is that I obsess over every word choice, and if it makes me laugh, I don't put it in.

Like "man pussy." that will never be in anything other than a parody.

[briyamineko84.livejournal.com]

If you used man pussy, I think I might have to laugh hysterically and then never talk to you again. ;P

[simplysly.livejournal.com]

how about "throbbing man meat going into <insert male name here>'s tunnel of love"?

[briyamineko84.livejournal.com]

I'm not sure if that's better or worse than "slicing through his quivering mound of love pudding" or "sheathing his gleaming sword of love in his glorious depths"

[simplysly.livejournal.com]

"sheath your sword"!!!! *dissovles into puddle of laughter*

[briyamineko84.livejournal.com]

Yeah, that was my reaction, too. Smut ruining descriptions, yay!

[simplysly.livejournal.com]

I was trying to explain to someone earlier what I meant by trying to keep the porn from becoming laughable, and she didn't know what I meant. it was sad.

[briyamineko84.livejournal.com]

Awww. I envy her and her knowing not of the horrible, horrible porn phrases. Did you enlighten her?

[simplysly.livejournal.com]

of course! No one can escape the scarring effect of stupid porn phrases.

[briyamineko84.livejournal.com]

Oh, good. It was saddening that someone out there on the interwebs didn't know how scarring porn could be.

[simplysly.livejournal.com]

It was after informing her of this that I realized she was like, 17. Then I had no idea what to do.

[briyamineko84.livejournal.com]

Ooops. If it makes you feel any better, I realized one of my friends who was reading the porn was 17. Of course, she's from Amsterdam, so she's legal technically...

[simplysly.livejournal.com]

Put the special brownie down, honey. You don't need to be any weirder than you already are.

[briyamineko84.livejournal.com]

I didn't know it was a special brownie when I ate it! And I don't even know if it really is one, so there!

[desiredeffect.livejournal.com]

So I'm a little dumb. :P I'm 16! And a natural blonde! Cut me some slack xD

[simplysly.livejournal.com]

Actually, hon, it wasn't just you. That's why it was sad.