*headdesk*

[simplysly]

I'm writing porn.  And misusing foodstuffs.

Note to self: a rutabag should not be used as a dildo.

Note to brain: stop it.  Just stop.

Comments

[clayangel.livejournal.com]

O_o

[simplysly.livejournal.com]

I blame corliamat, desiredeffect, and the_empressar.

Here's what I have so far. No, it's not done. Yes, it probably will be.

Ryan shivered as he stood naked in the middle of the kitchen. In the background, the crashing of waves and the ticking of a clock marked the passage of time. In front of him, a fully dressed Colin smirked as he held up some sort of netting. Ryan eyed it warily, not certain as to how he should feel about this turn of events. He swallowed heavily.

“You know, Col, we don’t have to do this.” With a lazy movement, Colin gestured for Ryan to turn around, eye never ceasing their devouring of the lanky frame. Still shivering, Ryan obeyed, leaning over the long bench seat, hands braced on the table that still held the remnants of the meal they had shared with their friends only a few hours before. He closed his eyes and waited, feeling more embarrassed with every tick of the clock, but before he could call this off, Colin was there. Colin, who was all warmth and comfort, who molded himself to Ryan’s back, evidence of his enjoyment quite clear. Despite himself, Ryan felt himself responding.

Colin ran his hands through Ryan’s hair, before following them with the hairnet. “We don’t want anything to get into the leftovers, do we?” He placed a quick kiss to Ryan’s shoulder as punctuation, which had the added benefit of causing Ryan’s eyes to open just in time to see Colin reach for the butter. The older man’s fingers left grooves in the softened material, before traveling to where they would have a much better use.

“Colin…” Ryan meant for it to sound chastising, but what came out was more of a breathy moan. He felt Colin chuckle behind him, and resolved to do something to make the Canadian lose his vaunted self control. He spread his legs and arched his back wantonly, letting out the noises that he knew Colin loved. Ryan was so into it that he didn’t hear Colin’s breath catch, or the hasty lowering of a zipper behind him.

When Colin’s fingers left him, Ryan whimpered (something which he would later deny doing) and thrust himself back in an effort to find those magical digits again. Instead, something larger and firm pressed itself against his entrance. Ryan pushed back, before realizing that it was altogether cooler and harder than any part of Colin had right to be. But then, Colin angled it expertly to firmly press against Ryan’s prostate, and all questions were washed away in the wave of pleasure.

It was to this that Greg walked in. It was late, so he had been moving quietly as to not wake anyone, but now that he could hear Ryan, he wondered why he had bothered. Greg took in the sight they made; Ryan completely naked, hands white knuckled on the table, erection looking painfully hard as it leaked precum; and Colin behind him, fully dressed except for the open pants, through which he was fisting his own erection.

[clayangel.livejournal.com]

*snickers* That's awesome. ^_^

[simplysly.livejournal.com]

Thanks. This is my first time writing porn in years so *headdesk* it's aggravating.

[briyamineko84.livejournal.com]

Ahhh, smut. The thing that's fun and frightening to write at the same time!

[simplysly.livejournal.com]

more the later than the former.

[briyamineko84.livejournal.com]

Yeees, but then you get all addicted and people cheer you on and you're like...wheee?

[simplysly.livejournal.com]

cheering and comments are good.

the porn itself is bad.

[briyamineko84.livejournal.com]

It is nooot. I read yours, it's fiiine. Not my 'ship, but still good. My stuff? Awful. The only thing that saves me is that I'm writing it with someone else.

[simplysly.livejournal.com]

the only reason it's partly decent is that I obsess over every word choice, and if it makes me laugh, I don't put it in.

Like "man pussy." that will never be in anything other than a parody.

[briyamineko84.livejournal.com]

If you used man pussy, I think I might have to laugh hysterically and then never talk to you again. ;P

[simplysly.livejournal.com]

how about "throbbing man meat going into <insert male name here>'s tunnel of love"?

[briyamineko84.livejournal.com]

I'm not sure if that's better or worse than "slicing through his quivering mound of love pudding" or "sheathing his gleaming sword of love in his glorious depths"

[simplysly.livejournal.com]

"sheath your sword"!!!! *dissovles into puddle of laughter*

[briyamineko84.livejournal.com]

Yeah, that was my reaction, too. Smut ruining descriptions, yay!

[simplysly.livejournal.com]

I was trying to explain to someone earlier what I meant by trying to keep the porn from becoming laughable, and she didn't know what I meant. it was sad.

[briyamineko84.livejournal.com]

Awww. I envy her and her knowing not of the horrible, horrible porn phrases. Did you enlighten her?

[simplysly.livejournal.com]

of course! No one can escape the scarring effect of stupid porn phrases.

[briyamineko84.livejournal.com]

Oh, good. It was saddening that someone out there on the interwebs didn't know how scarring porn could be.

[simplysly.livejournal.com]

It was after informing her of this that I realized she was like, 17. Then I had no idea what to do.

[briyamineko84.livejournal.com]

Ooops. If it makes you feel any better, I realized one of my friends who was reading the porn was 17. Of course, she's from Amsterdam, so she's legal technically...

[simplysly.livejournal.com]

Put the special brownie down, honey. You don't need to be any weirder than you already are.

[briyamineko84.livejournal.com]

I didn't know it was a special brownie when I ate it! And I don't even know if it really is one, so there!

[desiredeffect.livejournal.com]

So I'm a little dumb. :P I'm 16! And a natural blonde! Cut me some slack xD

[simplysly.livejournal.com]

Actually, hon, it wasn't just you. That's why it was sad.